God Can Still Use You.

“Often a Christian man or woman falls prey to that cruel and vexatious spirit, wondering how to find marriage, who, when, where? It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits–not for but on the customer–alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted. ‘My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.’ (Ps. 62:5 KJV) In Him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace.”
Elisabeth Elliot, Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a young woman around my age about courtship, marriage and being a single Christian woman. I have seen many Christians put a huge emphasis on marriage and relationships, telling young men and women about how wonderful it is and how important it is. And yes, finding a Godly spouse is one of the most important things you will ever do. It is incredibly important, one of the biggest moments of your life if you do end up marrying someone. But I have seen so many people, women especially, put this emphasis on marriage and create a huge weight and place it on their backs, suffering because of it. I have seen women struggle so badly with longing; we as women naturally desire things, and some of those things are love, companionship, and so on. We want to feel loved. The idea of a relationship for most women sounds like a perfect thing. To have someone bound to us forever, to have a partner in this life, to love and be loved in return, to have someone there for you..there aren’t many women who would hear about this and not desire it. A couple years ago, I suffered so much with this longing. I saw so many of my friends start dating. Most teenagers start dating early nowadays, and I was alone in this. I had never felt like anyone was interested in me in that way, let alone had someone act on those feelings. It made me feel like an outcast, the odd one out. And I began praying about it, asking God to allow this to happen to me so I could feel normal, so I could fit into society and experience what every other girl my age seemed to be experiencing. It wasn’t until a few months ago that God revealed something to me. He convicted me about these feelings, and I realized that I had been holding back so much of myself for when I was in a relationship, for when I was married. But God can call us to do something even if we’re not with someone. God could call you to be someone great, and we have to slay that longing and focus on God no matter what society says is normal.

In Elisabeth Elliot’s book Passion and Purity, she talks about her time as a single woman, and then, later on, she talks about her relationship with Jim Elliot. In one of the early chapters, she talks about what kind of life we owe Christ. We owe a debt to the Lord, and we have to be willing to pay it, even if that means sacrificing the things that we want most so God can work in us. Sometimes, the things that we want most aren’t what God wants for us. Sometimes, He has much more in mind.

“When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him.”
Elisabeth Elliot

The ultimate question is this; do we love Him? How much do we love Him? What are we willing to sacrifice for His sake? For His will? Are we willing to set aside our natural desires, which aren’t necessarily bad until they become an idol or an excuse, in order to follow God’s plan?

Amy Carmichael was one of the most incredible missionaries that this world has seen since Biblical days. She was also a single woman until the end of her life. She put every ounce of her focus on Jesus Christ and the calling that He placed in her life. At times, I’m sure she asked God why He put this specific calling in her life, like Elisabeth and Jim Elliot struggled with whether or not God was calling them to be single as well. Paul said in scripture that it is better for a man to remain unmarried so that his focus is on the Lord and not his wife, and that it is good for others to follow his lead unless they feel that God is calling them to do otherwise. I realized that it was time for me to put relationships, love, and guys on the backburner so I could put every ounce of myself into God and what He is leading me towards. Women, you do not need a husband in order to serve God or be a part of a ministry. Men, you do not need to be married in order to follow God. He can use you whether you are single, engaged or married as long as you are dedicated to serving Him in all that you do. Carmichael wrote this years ago, and I find it extremely fitting;

“And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,
Until it be according unto mine?
But, no, Lord, no, that never shall be, rather
I pray Thee blend my human will with Thine.

I pray Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,
I pray Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire—
See in my quiet places, wishes thronging—
Forbid them, Lord, purge, though it be with fire.”
Amy Carmichael

 God’s will has to be more important to us than our human will. We must blend our will with His until they are just alike. We must pray that He will hush our longing, our desire, our wishes, and step back and allow Him to purge them with fire. We can not serve God until He is everything to us. More than our desires, more than our relationship status, more than what we want from this life. What is He calling you to do, and what are you letting get in the way? What is your excuse for not following Him? Maybe, it’s not a relationship or a desire for one. Maybe, it’s friends, or the desire to be popular and in the midst of every social gathering you could possibly be in. I’ve suffered from that, too. It’s easy to play the comparison game. We look at what every other girl, or guy, is doing right now, and we find ourselves wishing, imagining, that we are with them, doing what they’re doing, because they seem so happy and carefree. When we are comparing ourselves to others we are missing out on what God wants to do with us. Us, as we are, not as what we want to be, but what He wants us to be.

God can still work through your life when you’re single. This is harder for women to get, I think, because so many people want to think that women can not be powerful tools for God in the mission field. Even when they are married to amazing Christian men, doing everything God has called them to do, they seem to be put in the background. How often do we hear about Spurgeon’s wife? About Oswald Chamber’s wife? But remember, just because they are in the background doesn’t mean they aren’t being used greatly for God like these amazing women were. Those women, those wives, were the reason that we know who those men are today. Just because they aren’t at the pulpit preaching on Sunday does not mean that they can’t be used. We women can see this, can see how often good, Godly women are put in the background, and perhaps, we feel as though we are worth a little less in God’s eyes. But we aren’t. God uses Godly women. God uses meek, humble, loving women. And He wants to use you now. He doesn’t want to wait until you’re married, or a mother. He wants you now. That’s why it’s important to strive to be that Proverbs 31 woman, that Titus 2 woman, and remember your Creator in the days of your youth.  God can’t use you if you’re looking back at the world, sighing with longing to be like them. He wants you to sacrifice. He wants you to strive to be Christlike, to make Him your first priority, not guys, or friends.

Keep your soul on God. Don’t be hurried, don’t be pressed to make a list and complete everything now. Don’t say, God, I want to be married by this certain age, I want to have kids by this certain age, then when I have everything on my list that I feel is needed before I serve You, I’ll serve You. No, God does not need the things on your list in order to use you.All He needs is a believing heart, a willing heart, a meek heart. All He needs is a woman who looks to Him and says, Lord, here am I. Send me. Send me to Africa, send me to India, send me to this city in America that the Gospel is desperately needed in. Send me towards any door you wish to open for me, whether a husband is behind it or not. Whether children are behind it or not. He needs a woman who will see her desires and know that sometimes, our desires are not God’s desires, but He will never leave us feeling unfulfilled or unhappy when we are serving Him more and more each day. There will be hard days, hard weeks, hard months, maybe even hard years, but He will bless you. He will use you. He will sustain you. All you need is God, and He doesn’t want to wait to use you. We’re the ones who have come up with this idea, but God needs nothing but His disciples.

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25 thoughts on “God Can Still Use You.

  1. rachaellbeers July 23, 2016 / 12:16 am

    God cares about our willingness not our abilities. We have to remember that everything is His plan and not centered on our plans. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:17 pm

      Love that, our willingness over our abilities! So thankful that’s the truth, goodness knows our abilities fall short so often!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 2015horse July 23, 2016 / 12:22 am

    This post is so so touching. I have been praying and seeking God’s will for my life the last few months. I was hanging on to what I have here, right now and not wanting to let go and follow His will. I wanted to be completely sure that this was what He was calling me to. And now I have surrendered it to Him and I know what He wants me to be. I am sure He is calling me to be a missionary. I read Romans 10:14-15 14 ‘How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”‘ and I knew God wanted me to make sure people heard about Him. I believe He is calling me to Africa maybe to an uneached people group or a newly reached group. But it feels so good to know that I’m not pushing God away and that I’m living for Him! Thank you for this post! God can use all of us in any way He wants… we just need to let go and follow Him.

    Like

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:19 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment! I’m so excited to hear that He is calling you towards that life and that you’re walking closely with Him and are able to hear that calling! I myself have been feeling extremely burdened over mission work, and I’m growing very eager -and excited- to see where He is calling me. Whatever He calls someone to, we can rest easy knowing it’s going to be fulfilling and a blessing if we continue on the narrow path! I’m praying for you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • 2015horse July 24, 2016 / 12:21 am

        Thank you so much! I also pray for you!

        Like

  3. ELIZABETH MARSHALL July 23, 2016 / 1:31 am

    What a wonderful message. I am a student in the Women’s program at Southwestern Seminary and there are several women, both professors and students alike, who are serving the Lord as single women dedicated to them. I love watching all the women here dedicate their lives to God while walking whatever path He has laid out for them. Thank you for your encouraging words.

    Like

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:20 pm

      Thank you so much, Elizabeth! It’s incredibly inspiring to see other women following Him in every walk of life!

      Like

  4. Sarah July 23, 2016 / 3:09 am

    Kalin, your post so blessed me. I’m thankful for the wisdom God has granted you and that He has led you to share it with the world via blogging. Thank you for sharing these truths! Truly, God can use any woman with a heart and life and mind submitted to Him. Would you consider doing a post on balancing your time with responsibilities of this world (work/chores, academic education, etc.) with seeking the Lord? I find myself having days where I spend hours watching sermons and taking notes, doing devotions, and just delving into the things of God, but I don’t have the resources to do that on a daily basis, even if I cut out the extras. Also, would you recommend any preachers that could be watched/listened to online or through iTunes Podcasts?
    Christly love,
    Sarah

    Liked by 1 person

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:27 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment, Sarah! It blessed me! That’s a wonderful post idea and I’d love to get that written and published for you! Until I can do that and delve into the topic a bit deeper, I’d recommend the following preachers. Note that some of these are preacher’s that are no longer living and here with us, but extremely inspiring regardless and they’ve all impacted my walk greatly. You should be able to find all of these preacher’s on SermonAudio.com, which is a free website FULL of amazing sermons!

      -Clarence Sexton. This is the Pastor at Temple Baptist Church, and he’s been extremely influential in my life. I’ve been attending his church recently. He just finished a series on Lamentations that is incredible, and I really recommend that you listen to the sermons and sessions from Congress which was at his church. You can find those on Youtube on their page Temple Baptist Church, or The Crown College.
      -Bob Jones. (All of them! There are a couple, haha! All of them related.) He’s also been very influential in my life, his sermons are very good!
      -A.W. Tozer, Leonard Ravenhill, Charles Spurgeon, and so on. These are older preachers but there are a lot of sermons online.
      -David Stooksbury. He has been my pastor for nearly 10 years, and he’s wonderful. You should be able to find sermons online at Trinitybaptistkarns.org very soon, not sure if they’ve uploaded any yet as it’s a new website.
      -Charles Lawson. He is a local preacher at Temple Baptist Church. (Not the same one as Sexton.)
      -Jeff Lyle.

      I may comment again later if any others come to mind!

      A great idea, something I’ve been doing a lot lately, is waking up earlier or staying up later if possible so you have a couple hours of free time just for bible study, prayer time, to listen to sermons or read a good Christian book or devotional. Night times are better for me, but some days I can’t stay up so late, and I wake up about two hours earlier than normal, go outside on my porch and delve into personal study. It’s nice and quiet and you don’t have to worry about rushing when no one else is up, or when you’ve finished everything you have to do that day! 🙂

      Like

  5. debolton July 23, 2016 / 12:18 pm

    I love Elisabeth Elliot she speaks so much wisdom. I find that we always want to speed things up but their is wisdom in the wait.

    Like

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:28 pm

      She does! She is one of the greatest inspirations in my life. She was a precious woman, for sure!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. pjkuhn July 23, 2016 / 2:24 pm

    I, too, have counseled many young women to wait for God’s best. My son-in-law told God he was tired of trying to find a wife, that he’d wait until God brought on to him. Unexpectedly we moved and attended the church he attended. Shawn is a southern boy and told his mother, “Mama, God brought her here, now I don’t know what to do with her.” I love your message that God can use the single as much as the couples.

    Like

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:28 pm

      Thank you for your comment! Isn’t it so sweet to see how God works and plans?

      Like

  7. Jennifer July 23, 2016 / 2:42 pm

    I’m in a season now that I look back and realize how much of my singleness I wasted feeling this intense pressure to get married. Now I’m married and have a house and daughter and no time. I struggle with finding enough time to serve God. I know this too is a temporary season and God has placed me here, so I will not wish it away, but we need to be willing to be used by God wherever we are, for sure! And being single is a blessing because we have time to do amazing things for God.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kalinann July 23, 2016 / 8:30 pm

      Thanks for your comment, Jennifer! That’s something that I’ve seen so many women struggle with; the lack of time! Especially when they’ve married, had children, or are planning to have them. Everything is so busy and hectic all the time! I’ve been really convicted lately by God to enjoy this season in my life, when everything is semi-calm in comparison to how it may be 5, 10 years down the road!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jennifer July 23, 2016 / 9:22 pm

        And then you can enjoy the next season without regrets!

        Like

  8. Kristi July 23, 2016 / 4:31 pm

    Beautifully written!
    Such a powerful question to ask and you answered it very well.
    “When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him.”
    ― Elisabeth Elliot

    Like

  9. Caroline harries July 25, 2016 / 4:17 pm

    I love how he uses each and every person who says YES to being used to further his kingdom! Praise Jesus

    Like

    • kalinann July 30, 2016 / 3:14 am

      Amen! No one is excluded when they love Christ and are pursuing Him!

      Like

  10. Lo July 28, 2016 / 4:34 pm

    THIS!!
    “When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him.”
    ― Elisabeth Elliot

    I needed to read this today!

    Like

    • kalinann July 30, 2016 / 3:14 am

      One of my favorite quotes, it seems to be in my mind often!

      Like

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