Stop Forcing Romance Down Kids Throats.

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A couple weeks ago, my best friend were having a conversation pretty much yelling in anger via text over something that’s been bugging us both. It’s about a problem that this whole society seems to have – forcing romance down kids throats. Now, I’m obviously not against romance. I am, 100%, a hopeless romantic. And there is nothing wrong with sharing love stories, and showing your children how great love can be. There’s nothing better than a child growing up to see true romance modeled after the Bible, and it’s totally okay to pray that your child eventually finds love in that way. It’s okay to want that for them. In fact, I believe you should be praying that your child marries the love of their life…if it is God’s will. But that’s the point. This world doesn’t seem to keep God’s will in mind anymore. We are so caught up in the must’s – we must fall in love with a person, we must get married, we must have children, that we forget what the Bible says about this topic. Nowhere in the Bible does it command EVERYONE to fall in love and get married. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God calls EVERYONE to get married. In fact, it says that if you are able to stay single and follow the Lord in this way, it is a good thing. Sometimes, the Lord calls people to stay single and be 100% focused on Christ. Staying single is not a sin, nor is getting married a sin. But completely disregarding Christ’s will is a sin.

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

I have seen such a huge amount of parents ask their kids (like, 10 years and younger) about their boyfriends/girlfriends. This is typically in a teasing manner, sure, we joke about them having a “relationship” or “crushes” at this young age, but I don’t think people truly understand just how toxic it can be. We are teaching kids from day one that kissing and crushes and relationships are not only just a joke, a casual thing instead of something sacred like the Bible says, but it is also something that everyone does. We aren’t giving them the option to wonder if they are called to another path, we are shoving it down their throats. We are making romantic relationships the #1 priority, so much that even our toddlers are learning to have boyfriends and girlfriends on the playground. It starts off small, as a joke, but it’s not right. We are teaching kids from toddler age and up that it is important to be with someone, teenagers are seen as weird, uncool, and stupid if they aren’t taking part of this. We are making this a huge priority and completely neglecting the relationship that matters the most –  the one we have with God.

Not only can this hinder our relationship with God, it can completely ruin our walk. When we are so focused on romance and relationships, we are forgetting what God calls us to do. He’s not calling us to fall in love with the first guy we meet at campus, He is calling us to serve Him wholeheartedly, to witness, to preach the gospel, to send lost souls His way, to shine a light in a sin darkened world.

1 Corinthians 7:17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.

I’m young. The last thing on my mind at this very moment is having a relationship with a guy, but a year ago, it was almost all I could think about. We are drowning our kids with these things so much to where they feel like they can’t live without a significant other, and then, we want to blame them when they get into relationships and those relationships take over their lives and God is left forgotten. If you want your child to be 100% dedicated to the Lord, tell them about Him. Tell them about the love story of the Bible, about the King of Kings, the most important Man that will ever come into anyone’s life. Stop forcing romance down kid’s throats as if it is the only option, and start showing them the gospel and lead them down the path that God is bidding them to go down. Don’t let society (or yourself) let your kids think that God isn’t the most important thing. Teach them right.

Stop acting as if singleness is a disease that must be cured and treat it as it should be treated. Teach your kids and the young people around you that whatever path you are on just needs to be about serving God 100%, whether it is with a mate, or not.

“Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you’ll always be looking to mere men to meet your needs that only Him can fill. Only when you make Jesus Christ your first love,will you be ready for a love story that reflects His glory.”
Leslie Ludy

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3 thoughts on “Stop Forcing Romance Down Kids Throats.

  1. Rachel October 23, 2015 / 10:14 pm

    I think that what you said is 100% honest and true. I will be praying for you. Is there anything in particular that you would like me to pray for?

    Like

  2. Sadie fisher October 24, 2015 / 3:51 am

    Kalin! You are so right! I think about this every day. Almost. About how people are thinking of being popular and having a boyfriend like everyone else at like 10 years of age or even younger! They just can’t seem to wait for what God has in store. And that person who waits is going to have a long lasting relationship with the person God has chosen for them, but the person who just dates to get attention or be popular, is not going to have a very good realationship. I see it every day. And I almost feel sorry for them, for not waiting for their perfect person.

    Like

  3. Lydia Scott October 24, 2015 / 10:53 am

    Thanks for this post Kalin! This situation makes me very mad too. Parents just don’t seem to realize that they are teaching their children a “romantic” relationship is a must. No matter whether it’s healthy, purposeful, etc. Sadly this has been going on for hundreds of years–I remember reading a Louisa May Alcott book where she briefly addresses this exact same problem.

    Like

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