Afraid of My Calling.

I’ve talked about this before but not as in-depth as I realized that I wanted to go. About two or so months ago, God starting laying something big on my heart. I didn’t share anything about this, but I had also been experiencing a lot of criticism, and hate, because of my faith. It got so bad that I deleted most of my social media, started fresh and blocked quite a few people. I spent sleepless nights stressed over it, and I wondered why God let me be bullied so much. I was threatened, mocked, and hated on. And as much as I want to say that I overcame it quickly, that I was able to brush it off…I didn’t. It broke me down, and my relationship with God kind of faltered during that. So did my prayer life. I was slightly angry over it, and honestly..I wanted to be normal. For once, I wanted to fit in and be accepted.

But then, one day I was scrolling on my Facebook and saw a post by Ray Comfort. In the video he posted, he was witnessing to lost folks, a huge crowd around him. In the comments, he received backlash. He commented back, and he continued sharing the Gospel unashamed. I felt so much conviction for what I had been doing – I had run away from witnessing, to trying to spread His word, because of people. And then, it seemed that every time I opened my Bible, it turned to verses about being persecuted, or sharing the Gospel. Sermons at church seemed to be geared straight at me. God was showing me something, and I was afraid of it. Frankly, I was terrified of what He’d ask me to do next, of who He would bring next. One night, I prayed. I prayed for the first time in quite awhile, and I asked God to bring me peace over the situation and show me where He wants me.

Every single thing has pointed to Biblical Ministry.

I think deep down, I’ve known this for awhile. But it’s just now truly hit me. He’s found way to point me in this direction, so many ways. From the devotions I read in the morning, to the movie I sat down to watch tonight. He’s given me new opportunities, and ways to go and follow His will for my life. Now, it’s just finding out where He’ll take me in the future. (: Until then, I’m happy to serve Him where I so happen to be, with a Bible and a gospel tract.

We talk of the Second Coming; half the world has never heard of the first. — Oswald J. Smith


4 thoughts on “Afraid of My Calling.

  1. Gabby April 7, 2015 / 4:12 am

    I pray that Jesus clearly guides you to how, when and where He wants to fulfill His plan for you in ministry. I am excited for you! I also pray that you find peace when others disagree with your calling. When I was called to share my faith a little louder on social media, I was scared and also “bullied” by several people. Mind you, I was 23. I didn’t need that drama. Sometimes, I still am scared, but I have found a greater peace that allows me to share with no reservations. Much love to you, friend! 🙂


  2. Sadie Fisher April 7, 2015 / 2:51 pm

    Thanks for sharing this. ❤️


  3. Katie Gibson April 11, 2015 / 4:56 pm

    You’re so lucky, I wish I knew what my calling was! I guess I will find out eventually though!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s